Caregiver and a person with MS

Heather Armstrong

My mother was misdiagnosed for many years. We were told it was an inner ear problem which was causing her to lose her balance. I can remember when she had to wear an eye patch for awhile.  So instead of having to look at a black patch we put one of those flower power stickers on it, bright green and probably glowed in the dark! Mom was young with a family and it wasn’t until she was in her 50’s that she was finally diagnosed with MS.

When my father passed away in 1998 my two sisters and I took over as mom’s caregivers. She was living by herself back east and it was becoming more evident that she needed more hands-on care as her cognitive issues were affecting her day to day life. So we sold the family home and moved mom out west where all three of us, plus the grandchildren, lived. Family has been the saving grace for us when even now we struggle at times.

Now throw into the mix my own diagnosis in 2006. Well, we had to band together even more as a family. And of course my MS challenges were not going to be the same as my mom’s. So this was a steep and very personal learning curve for me to deal with. 

Yes at times I find it stressful, angering, frustrating, emotional, scary and time consuming, but I quickly get over it when I think about what it is like for my mother to live with those feelings day in and day out, minute by minute and so I move on. Amazingly, through all this I would say our sense of humour has never wavered and we have some of those much needed laughs. We’ve also learned to ask for the help and support that is out there through the MS Society, MS clinics and Health Authorities.